I am a loser.
matchsticks and lightsticks
April 7, 2011Qiak. Bus journeys have never failed to make me think so deeply about the past and the present. I’ll feel sore and upset about the past. In the next moment I’ll feel confused about the present because I do not know whether the things I’m doing now are right. If only there is just a single person who really understands. but sadly, there isn’t any. That’s alright, I’ll live with it. It has been so many years anyway. lolcats. Ok reach school alr bye.
A part time lover and a full time friend.
always happens
March 14, 2011this sucks. I was deep into slumber and, as usual, was dreaming. I dreamt that my house’s ceiling came collapsing down and I got buried right under. I screamed helplessly for help but no one heard me. I feared for my life and my parents and eventually my eyes shut and my heart stops beating…. just right at this moment I jumped up of my bed. I pinched myself and was so glad that I am still alive….
I think I am someone who is very afraid of death. The reasons could be simply I cannot let go of the things that I possess easily. the thought of losing my friends and my family when death strikes is unthinkable and unbearable. so now I’m right awake due to the horrible nightmare and I don’t know what to do right now.
Am feeling moody recently as well as I possibly have angered people unknowingly (but now I know). I’m unsure if that was for me, but if it was then should I let you have your way? All the harsh tones and anything else seem to confirm my suspicions. never mind. everyone treats me this way, but I will not give up things that I have (maybe I just think that I have) so easily. we’ll see we’ll see…. 
I shall try to sleep in the mean time. elbows are aching from constant bending posture. goodnight.
/I don’t wanna lose you.
430am in the morning
February 5, 2011It is currently 431am in the morning and there are four pigs around me sleeping like nobody’s business. If only I can sleep, I will have slept too sigh. I have to wake up at 7 to rush home to be in time to go to the temple to 补运. And honestly I thought it was next sunday lor walao my dad so unclear then make me so screw up now bu san bu si hai. So I have nothin’ to do so I decided to give wordpress a visit.
Chinese New Year this year is like that lor nothing new and special happened as compared to previous years; the gambling’s there and the gatherings and the snacking during the gatherings are still there. Pretty much mundane I will say but the long holiday of CNY is coming to an end. At the end of each day of this cny break, I always told myself that I have to complete some work as the workload is very heavy now. But I had never fulfilled my promise since Thursday and although I seem to be very particular about it, I actually don’t really care whether I studied or not. This break is to free me away from the papers and books that I had been facing for the days aft orientation and prior to cny. So I truly deserve this break and although I have to concede that some momentum is lost, I’m not completely done yet. When the break is over and I’m over the festive mood hoohah, I will make friends with the books again. Sorry la mugger lor but what to do who ask me wanna act cool, but happens to be otherwise, and not have a Cca. Gotta face my own consequences la so gotta work extra hard for academics to stand out among the others. (I am sad to say that I am not putting enough effort yet for GP)
And so after finishing the two paragraphs, I still have around two hours to go… All the pigs are asleep and I cannot open my crumpler bag. The whole world will be wide awake sigh why didnt I take my earphones out earlier. I guess my anticipation of events has failed me for today. I was pretty accurate prior to today hai.
It seems like we have a test every week sia. For the coming week six, we have a chemistry lecture test and a GP essay test. However I heard from people that GP test can be postponed to week seven if your tutor decides to do so. Crossin’ ma fingers for that to happen haha so that I can build on my content knowledge for an additional extended time period yay. (ha ha ha I so positive lmao-.-)
Hope everyone has a good chinese new year and a good break. Those that have fallen sick and are already sick, do take care of your bodies k! Jiayou and may everyone be happy and achieve the things that they wish and want to accomplish!
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!
BBQ
January 6, 2011WHY IS TODAY FRIDAY *cries*
Okay whatever. Today was C31 gathering, bbq session, at weiqi’s house. Started off the day badly by letting imagination to run wild and could not sleep. Woke up at the wrong side of the bed and felt like bullshit. But luckily, there was a bowl of good porridge for brunch to ease off all the nonsense. Didnt want to stay at home and do nothing ‘cos mummy was sleeping and didnt want to disturb her by watching television. So i went out. Was supposed to meet chelszy at 430 but decided to ask her out earlier since I am already out and guess what. I had finished walking all 3 malls in tampines and she wasnt here yet. lmao. i knew she takes eons to bathe but 1.5 hrs is too long to come out from her house to tm. (she stays in tamp lol) chels no offence k heh.
So, we resided in teadot and started embarking on our work. She did her math while I did my GP. My GP is not finished yet though and I do not have any remaining motivation to continue. HATE IT. ugh. So while she continued to battle with math, I stoned around and kinda really daydreamed. Hate it ttm. My phone’s data plan always fail to work at tampines and idk wai. Super annoying and I know calling in to Starhub will not work ‘cos my line will never get through. -_-
Ok so as time passes, we left t1 and headed off to weiqi’s condo lor. lmao. saw my classmates that I havent seen in a looong time. not bad haha. I didnt want to help bbq at first because I had tuition later on and I didnt want to reek of bbq smell as I carelessly forgot to take an extra shirt out. meh. But I felt bad to eat and play monopoly deal at the same time, so I decided to help out with the bbqing lor haha i so nice thx. 
meh and jade burnt her middle finger as she was adding charcoal. gws man! So bbq bbq bbq then in the end decided not to go for tuition. I also dont know wai. Dilys they all say dont go lah dont go lah and made me felt like not attending too. Ok so whatever dont go lor. Doesnt matter anyway haha. So we talked cock talked rubbish and gossip. Haha and they attempted to fish out things from me. But nah I wont wanna say. not obvious mehhhhh. I guess yall dont unds me much after all hence yall dont know lol. Nvm lah. And dilys, it’s not that k. haha.
So bbq ended at arounnd 10 plus and I took the train home with chelzy and we sat at mccafe for a while cos it wasnt time for me to go home yet as my mum didnt know I went for bbq lol. -_- sigh i feel so bad to not tell her haha but whatever lah. Talk cock and then we took bus and went home.
Sigh and we have lessons until 415 before orientation starts wtf lah
Today, I learnt that I am not the only one in this boat alone. There are many invisible people around me who are having the same plight. But whatever it is, I will not be bothered by all these rubbish because at the end of the day it is totally not worth it. If you regard me as a friend, you will come and talk to me and even if you dont do that, I am fine because we all lead our own lives and ours dont cross paths after all. Nah I am not emo/sad/unhappy whatsoever-_- Just saying things.
And sigh. I shouldnt disturb my pal and talk tons of rubbish again. I shouldnt be disturbing her because… nvm.
all the people (if you can identify) here are different. so dont make wild guesses thx.
Substitute
January 2, 2011I’m treating wordpress as twitter right now this is so not right. Hahaha.
Bon voyage kimberly! Have fun in hongkong I wonder if you’ll see this lol. Don’t think you visit my blog anymore haha.
Insomnia
January 2, 2011离开你我才发现自己那爱笑的眼睛~
Sigh I cannot sleep I also dont know why and plus I did not even consume caffeine related stuff. This is bad if this continues I am so going to sleep during school time and THIS IS NO GOOD COS I AM TAKING A LEVELS. whatever lol.
And I want skullcandy’s headphones so pretty but it is very expensive I am still regretting over my decision of not working in this holiday. Hai. I probably am going to try to save half of my monthly allowance and I will have 1k plus at the end of the year to spend. Ha ha. Resolution!! I must try although it’s tuff
It’s 245 am And my brain isn’t working properly la hahaha I’m like typing incoherent sentences sigh.
Haha and my midnight SMS friends are all asleep and I am left all alone with my iphone and music playing from it. But I am very happy because I have a new studying environment hehe tralala.
我学着不去担心得太远~
I shall go and find stuff to do. Bai.
